Holy fuck, just when you thought being an AMC Stubs Rewards Member couldn't get any more tits, shit like this happens and your dick just gets even harder. Here are more perks to being a member, if you aren't already:
• Complimentary visor for when the screen is just too darn bright
• Samples at the concession stand of Kurt's latest edibles, dude
• Free swirly in the bathroom for nerds
• Free 8-piece sectional couch of your choosing (NO DELIVERIES)
• This here bottle of scotch/cough medicine
• Free handjob by either Tiffany (works Tuesdays) or Hank (works Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays and Saturdays)
• We'll let you make out with any of our cardboard standees for 5 minutes, no judgements
• Stubs members can kick anyone out of the handicapped seating area, including handicapped people
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