A Nicolas Cage Theory I Have

I have a theory that former box office king Nicolas Cage hasn't made a movie in years, and any recent release is simply a photoshopped poster of a movie that doesn't exist.

Argument 1: Nobody has seen these recent movies. Nobody. Have you? Do you know anyone who saw "Dying of the Light"? If they said yes, they're lying. Where do you even go see this?

Argument 2: These movies are never promoted. No movie posters, no website banners, no sign outside of Nicolas Cage's neighborhood. Nothing.

Argument 3: Lousy photoshop. Look at this one from "Left Behind". That looks like Nicolas Cage's face on another head! In fact, the face looks almost identical to the poster above it, like they just cut and pasted the face and pose and generated a fake movie for tax purposes.

I dunno. Maybe if you're reading this, Nicolas Cage, you could explain it to me and reassure me you're still gainfully employed. Or alive.