You'll never see Alex Jones's mouth shut. That's because he's committed to bringing you the latest, craziest shittiest conspiracies that his staff of InfoWars writers can throw together for every show. Here's a sneak peak at some new steaming conspiracies:
• Netflix is KGB funded, and the people who still receive DVDs in the mail from them are Russian operatives, hiding behind "The Garbage Pail Kids Movie" to give away America's nuclear codes.
• If you blur your eyes, aprons look like perverted white monkeys trying to rape people.
• Who farted? YOU farted.
• French curves are not a real woodworking tool. It's an evil device meant to turn carpenters gay.
• Sting was lying when he told Roxanne she didn't have to turn on the red light. SHE DID.
• Any woman named "Marianne" is a total bitch and shouldn't be trusted with pressing your khakis.
• Pancakes are better than waffles. FIGHT ME IF YOU THINK I'M FRIGGIN' WRONG!!!!!!!!
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