Thursday, October 5, 2017

EADJ Calls Bullshit

Spotted at a children's birthday party joint: "TENNIS Champion."


BULLSHIT. Kid looks what, 5 months old? She's sitting up— maybe by herself— so she's somewhere between 4 and 7 months. So to be able to even hold the lightest carbon tennis racquet would take strength and coordination that SHE DOES NOT YET POSSESS.

Let's not even get into the fact that she cannot walk yet, so how is she supposed to crawl quickly to the other side of a (assumedly regulation-size) tennis court to even return the ball?

Well, maybe if the other players in the championship are also dribbling infants. Maybe she could beat them all 40/love if they were incoherent or asleep or crying about being left in the middle of a tennis court in the heat. But that would still require her to be able to successfully serve the ball over the net about 4 times a game, assuming the others who were serving wouldn't be able to.

Okay, so maybe she won all the games where she wasn't serving, and that was enough for her to win the infant tennis championship. But she is no fucking tennis champion by any stretch of the imagination.

Let's not go crazy here. Fucking bullshit is what it is.

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