When walking by a topiary sculpture of Cthulu, DO distract him with a quiltwork cardigan sweater made from table runner swatches.
When picking up your prescription, DON’T give other patrons at Walgreens a heart attack by letting your customized t-shirt frill get tangled in your shoulder hair.
If you have an extremely skinny build and a big poof of hair, DON’T wear the color brown, because otherwise you'll look like a Pixar-rendered broom.
If you accidentally go out in public dressed like a Hooters girl, DON’T be surprised if male strangers angrily ask you why their plate of terrible wings hasn't arrived yet.
If your legs are whiter than a Republican polar bear's teeth during an iceberg Klan meeting, DO coordinate with black socks, a black shirt and some poor-fitting lime green short shorts.