Wednesday, July 5, 2017

The EADJ Fashion Roundup: DOs and DON'Ts Edition

When walking by a topiary sculpture of Cthulu, DO distract him with a quiltwork cardigan sweater made from table runner swatches.

When picking up your prescription, DON’T give other patrons at Walgreens a heart attack by letting your customized t-shirt frill get tangled in your shoulder hair.

If you have an extremely skinny build and a big poof of hair, DON’T wear the color brown, because otherwise you'll look like a Pixar-rendered broom.

If you accidentally go out in public dressed like a Hooters girl, DON’T be surprised if male strangers angrily ask you why their plate of terrible wings hasn't arrived yet.

If your legs are whiter than a Republican polar bear's teeth during an iceberg Klan meeting, DO coordinate with black socks, a black shirt and some poor-fitting lime green short shorts.

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