Thursday, March 26, 2015

What Morgan Freeman's Disembodied Heads Were Thinking In All Those Movie Posters

Editor's Note: Feel free to read all of these with Morgan Freeman's voice in mind. Not like you have a choice.


"So she's related to those country music Judds. Why isn't she in the group, too? I wonder if she's acting because she can't sing..."


"These pen-lights that they're shining on our faces is basically the most light I've seen shooting this dang film."


"Can spider's bite through beards? Hope not."


"An action/disaster film starring Christian Slater? The joke's on you, viewing public!"


"Maybe if I can get her to hum a few bars of something, I could tell if she's off pitch or the like."


"This is one fucked up version of 'The Brady Bunch' opening credits."


"Glasses. They don't make me look distinguished. They make me look like I've falling asleep reading Parade Magazine. Come on, now."

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