Monday, March 2, 2015

Shave That Shit, Candice.



My wife received a direct mail piece from Victoria's Secret, and the post office's machinery left an unflattering smudge on Candice Swanepoel's upper lip:


If you are reading this, Candice Swanepoel, let me take this opportunity to apologize to you for the incompetence of our government's mail service. I hope this doesn't affect the potential for us to be eventual bowling buddies.

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