Monday, December 29, 2014

The EADJ Pun Cops: The Equalizer (Classic TV Show, Non-Denzel) Edition


"Well, hello. I see you've seen my newspaper ad and have left me a message on my answering machine for help with your situation. I understand the urgency and the sensitivity of your dilemma, and I'm here to help, I assure you. Shall we get started? Excellent."


"'Reggae Bash?' As in the gentleman is about to bash the camera with his fists? No, I cannot say that this is a pun at all. Are you sure this wasn't a misfiled EADJ entry into 'This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness?' I believe so."

[Waves gun at mixtape producers until they scurry away]



"Oh, dear. It looks like Chick-Fil-A have overstepped their boundaries of good puns. 'Sear to sear' isn't even close, and 'You go, grill' is just moan-worthy. Well, let's not tarry, shall we?"

[Guns down entire Chick-Fil-A marketing department, adjusts tie]


"Oh, I see. I am familiar with the music of Queen- seeing how they are from the same country as I- so there might be a bit of leniency in order here. I'll allow it. For just this once."

[Fires blanks at newspaper editors until they wet their pants. Adjusts sleeves of his blazer]


"Great God. That is terrible. Terrible. Terrible."

[Pulls RPG out of trunk of Jaguar. Blows entire area to smithereens]

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