So you have to give your girlfriend a Christmas present and think she's too fat and disgusting but want to pretend you're fucking Halle Berry with your eyes closed. Here's a handy holiday guide to navigate the complex world of Halle Berry-endorsed perfume:
Perfume Name: Exotic Jasmine
Halle Berry's hair on the package: Monster's Ball
Contains hints of: jasmine, jasmine extracts, and some bile from Jasmine Guy
Will make your significant other: horny as an iguana in a boot store
Perfume Name: Closer by Halle Berry
Halle Berry's hair on the package: Gothika
Contains hints of: muskellunge, chirashi and sriracha
Will make your significant other: sweat like a hot, wet summertime dumpster
Perfume Name: Wild Essence: Halle Berry
Halle Berry's hair on the package: "Extant" TV series, which I heard started out promising but ended up sucking for some reason
Contains hints of: vanilla bean, horse
Will make your significant other: cheat on you with the guy checking receipts with a highlighter at Home Depot
No comments:
Post a Comment