Wednesday, December 19, 2012

To The Penguin On The Back Of A Package of Lifesavers Gummies


Jesus Christ. What the fuck is wrong with you? What kind of penguin needs help finding his home in the snow? Your home is the snow, dumbass.

And furthermore, I can tell what your "home" is, even without connecting the fucking dots. And guess what, genius, you don't belong in an igloo. Act like you know. That's a home for Eskimos, who are mainly found in Siberia, Alaska, Canada, or Greenland. And do you live in Siberia, Alaska, Canada, or Greenland? No, you dumb shithead. You live in the Galapagos and Antarctica. So why would you think you belong in a structure that wouldn't be found anywhere near those places? Dumb fuck.

Okay, here you go, penguin. I connected the dots for you:



Whoa ho ho ho. Now look who stumbled back uninvited to our blog. Hey penguin, Pewter Bear is right. You don't deserve all this hatred. HE does. 

Fucking Pewter Bear, why don't you stay gone. Nobody here has or ever will like your simpering, whiny bitch-ass, so why do you keep coming back? There is nothing here for you. We all hate you and would like you to be smelted down to a single nail, so we can hammer that thing into a rock and launch it into space, where you can fuck off billions of miles away.

We apologize to the penguin and would like to extend the middle finger we drew earlier up Pewter Bear's asshole.

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