Monday, December 17, 2012

Cammie At The Mamma Chia Sample Station At Costco Answers Your Questions In The Order That They Were Asked


• Thanks, but I have a boyfriend.
• No, really. His name is Paul.
• That's really sweet of you, but I have a boyfriend.
• What is Mamma Chia? I'm so glad you asked! Mamma Chia is the drink of choice for any health-conscious souls seeking an extra dose of vitality. Infused with ancient wisdom and powered by chai, one of the world's healthiest whole foods, Mamma Chia provides sustained energy to power your soul's purpose!
• I'm sorry, but I don't see how that question is any of your business.
• Where are the toilets? They're at the end of aisle 6.
• Thanks, but I have a boyfriend.
• Oh, I thought you meant literally where the toilets are sold. I'm sorry! The restrooms are at the front, over by the hot dog stand.
• What are chai seeds? Well, they're an ancient grain, revered by both the Maya and Aztecs for their amazing energy and natural healing powers... uh, where are you going?
• Hello. No, I'm sorry, I don't give my number out to customers.
• His name is Paul.
• 18.
• Most people say I'm a blonde, but my mother and sister say it's more "dirty blonde." LOL!
• No, these drinks aren't alcoholic. I wouldn't be able to hand out samples of alcohol.
• Yes, you can have a bottle. Omega-3s, calcium, iron and zinc are good for pregnant women!
• Thanks, but my boyfriend Paul is waiting for me at the end of my shift. He's a weightlifter.
• Yes, I get "Rachel McAdams" sometimes. I get "Amanda Seyfried" more often, but my BOYFRIEND PAUL says I look like Jennifer Lawrence.
• What does "Seed Your Soul" mean? I have no idea.
• No, these are free samples. You don't have to tip me, thanks.
• I don't understand. Why am I a "g.d. hippy" for passing these drinks out, sir? And what is a "liberal narrative?"
• This one is Blackberry Hibiscus, but we've also got Cherry Lime, Cranberry Lemonade, Raspberry Passion, Pomegranate Mint, Coconut Mango, Kiwi Lime, Guava Mamma, and my favorite, Grapefruit Ginger.
• Gross. I'm not going to even dignify that with an answer.
• Yes, that's my BOYFRIEND PAUL walking this way.
• He's almost 6'6". His brother is even taller.
• Calcium.

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