The EADJ Crappinema Presents Ten Inch Hero

What makes a sandwich authentic? Back in 2009, we explored (with help from Tom Weingard) what made for a suitable and an unsuitable Philly cheesesteak. Now when it comes to movies, there's a similar way to tell why identical ingredients can form an unsatisfying rip-off. This method is known as the EADJ Crappinema.


Today we review the movie "Ten Inch Hero" a story of three girls- Piper, Tish and Jen, and their trials and tribulations with love as they run a restaurant in a small town. If this sounds familiar, it's because it's exactly the plot summary to 1998's "Mystic Pizza." And writing-wise and acting-wise, "Ten Inch Hero" is pretty close in quality to "Mystic Pizza," only it's a sandwich served up 22 years too late.
















The following conversation is lifted verbatim from the film:



Piper: So, before you leave, can I make you a sandwich? The roast turkey is really good.





Zoe: Thank you, but I don't eat anything that had a mother.






Piper: Oh. Okay…Um, egg salad, then?




Zoe: Well, eggs are really chicken abortions. I mean, I support a woman's right to choose, but I don't believe anyone asked the chickens beforehand.

Priestly: Right on.



Jen: Well, actually, since farmers don't keep roosters, the eggs aren't fertilized, so technically you're just eating the by-product of the hen's menstrual cycle.




Priestly: Well, that's certainly appetizing– a "hen period salad." That's lovely.






































The following line is verbatim from the film:

Piper: (after seeing Jen's date fuzzzy_22) That settles it. I have GOT to get my DSL hooked up.



























From Wikipedia:

Ten Inch Hero did not get a cinematic release in the US and was instead released direct to video. It was released February 10, 2009 in the United States exclusively by Blockbuster Video, and released May 6, 2009 on DVD in Australia.






Overall grade: F