A Word On Christmas Cards

Everybody enjoys receiving Christmas cards. It's a time-honored seasonal gesture that keeps people in touch with each other. But there are families that are too happy to send a card that is little more than a captioned photo of their kids.


Sure, it's pretty likely that the friends and loved ones that they've sent cards to are wondering how their kids are. But to just send a photo of your children with hardly a signature or bit of personalization is oddly both thoughtful and thoughtless.


Now, I'm not complaining about receiving Christmas cards– I'm grateful to still be on your list after what happened with my flask at Denny's. I'm just saying that a photo of your kid is not a photo of your entire family. What, did your nose fall off after you climbed Everest?




Oh, but even WORSE than a baby photo Christmas card is the dreaded Christmas family update letter. This has to be the biggest, douchetastic thing you can send to everyone you know– essentially junk mail where you brag about your kid's teeth growing in or your improved golf handicap. Fucking lazy, thoughtless egotism. Write us each a real letter if you're so proud, you cocknut.