"Solar Eclipses" by Unknown Girl
Transcript:
• A solar eclipse occurs when the moon passes between Earth and the sun, blocking the sunlight form reaching Earth.
• The darkest part of the moons shadow, the umbra, the umbra is cone shaped.
• From any point of the umbra, light from the sun iscompletely blocked by the moon.
Grammar: Terrible. Besides the unnecessary bullet format, the report suffers from run-on sentences and words that are too close together to distinguish by themselves. Also missing an apostrophe in the word "moons" to indicate possession. The bullet describing umbras is an incomplete sentence. The student also inexplicably changes from a cloud blue pen to a bright pink one midsentence.
Content: A single bullet about solar eclipses explains the phenomenon at a very cursory level. The third bullet is unclear as to from where exactly light from the sun is blocked. From the point of view of someone standing in the umbra? From the umbra itself (thus personifying it)? Poorly written.
Overall Grade: A disappointment. We were looking for more in-depth analysis (most notably the yearly frequency) of the solar phenomenon: D
"Elle Magazine" by Laura
Grammar: Lacking. There are many poor choices, many involving gerunds ("being" and "discussing") that result in awkwardly-worded sentences. The Strunk and White "Elements of Style" also dictates that the names of magazines should be italicized.
Content: Not bad. The basic information of Elle's marketing strategy is laid out in simple, direct fashion (pun!). However, Laura's enthusiasm for the content colored her coverage; several unnecessary exclamation marks found their way into her paper.
Overall Grade: I've never heard of a "Luxury Brand Management" class before, but even if I had, this wouldn't be a home run. I believe Professor T was too generous with a B+, quite frankly. I give it: C
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