Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Lobsterfest® Fists Your Lobster!
Lobsterfest® enters its 40th spectacular week, and we at Red Lobster are still finding exciting and succulent ways for you to enjoy lobster! Here are just a few of the latest new ways you can enjoy lobster at Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster:
• We mail you a Lobsterfest® postcard, which you bring into Red Lobster for a special Lobsterfest® scratch-off game piece. The game piece has four codes which you scratch off one-at-a-time, then compare with the codes posted on our in-store display. If two of your codes match those on the display in both number and color, you are automatically entered in our online raffle for two tickets to the next Red Lobster contest! That's another great way to enjoy lobster at Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster!
• We go to Chinatown and find any guy there named "Doug Chen." We convince Doug that you're somehow related to him and arrange for a big family reunion dinner at Red Lobster. When he arrives, you and your family pretend to know and love him, creating this long-time familial bond that Doug Chen never had growing up. Then when the check comes around for the expensive lobster, everyone ducks out, leaving poor ol' Doug Chen with the bill! Yet another fantastic way to enjoy lobster at Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster!
• Against our better judgment, we roll a gigantic fucking doob in the shape of a lobster and give it to some college sophomores. The students smoke the weed and talk about the universe always expanding and all, then they fall asleep before the pizza even gets here. That's one great way you can enjoy lobster at Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster!
• We hire Jake Busey as a "lobster-consultant." Jake's enormous teeth act as both a deflector for lobster critics and an effective crushing device to crack open tough lobster shells for guests. We award our new lobster consultant with the Medal Of Valor, an honor that only military or public safety personnel who have served with gallantry usually get. Sure, that could act as another way to enjoy lobster at Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster. I guess.
Stay tuned for even more incredible lobster deals during Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster!
Labels:
crab,
crab bisque,
Idiots,
los lobos,
Naked Karatechop Dude,
Wrist rests
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