Baby Float.

Baby float.

You read that right. Baby float. He float and he float now.

Look, baby float because baby want to float. Baby don't float because you ask baby to, or because you trick baby into, or because you force baby to. Baby float on baby's own terms, and that's that.

Where do baby float? Where do you think, idiot? In pool. Baby float in pool. Baby surprised you even asked where. When baby say 'baby float,' 'pool' is understood in subtext. Baby don't float in ocean or lagoon. That shit has tides.

Baby float. That's right. Baby float as long as baby want to, not because someone set a timer on baby or pool. "Clear the pool," lifeguard often say so lifeguard can do a few laps, but fuck that, baby float.

"Baby can't live in a vacuum," you say, "And no man is an island." Well, baby is no man, so baby can BE an island, because baby float. Just like island. And baby inflate float with air, so baby don't know why you talking about vacuum cleaners.

Baby float. That is fact of life that you are going to have to live with. Dog bark, bird fly, baby float.

That new Lady GaGa video is interesting.

In case you're wondering, that not Mommy in skinny yellow bikini near baby. That Meghan, baby's babysitter. Meghan's wan smile indicate that Meghan not really want to be at pool since ex-boyfriend hang out there all time. But who gives a shit, baby gotta float. And Meghan get paid good rate so Meghan should smile for real and stop bitching. Let baby float.

Baby float June 11, 2010. Baby gotta remember this moment, because baby gotta get job in 18 years. 2028? Something like that. Math hard to baby. Maybe after baby work a long, successful career and retire early, baby can go back to float full time. That would be nice. But for now, baby fucking float.

Baby float.