Wednesday, June 23, 2010

EADJ Crappinema Recap: Wow, We've Done Fifteen of These?!

Click to enlarge:

It's stunning to think that since "Shell Game" starring John Davidson and Joan Van Ark in January of 2008, we've reviewed 15 crappy movies on this humble blog. That's about 30 hours of bullshit (not including the additional hours doing write-ups) that we put ourselves through for you people. That's like working a week at a full-time job, minus 10 hours of cruising around the Hot Topic at the mall because you think the chubby goth girl at the register is kind of cute but you haven't mustered up the courage to say hi to her or buy anything because you're an incredible pussy, Nathan.

We obviously hadn't prepared to review so many films when we created the handy-dandy EADJ Crappinema Suck-o-meter pictured above, as we're now forced to wedge in positions for "The Man From Button Willow," "Da Station," and "Sol Goode." You'll notice that the need for space is slightly higher towards the "Fucking Piss-Awful" end of the spectrum.

But we've had our moments of enjoyment, too. The Debbie Gibson/Lorenzo Lamas vehicle "Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus" was pure cheeseball enjoyment, and "My Boys Are Good Boys" was a good heist movie, as B-grade teenager prison movies go.

The next movie in the docket, "Jeremy's Family Reunion," at first appeared to be a shallow, preachy Tyler Perry ripoff, but 20 minutes into it, it actually looks like it was helmed by someone who knows what they're doing. Who knew, right.

So we've also considered recreating the Suck-o-meter from scratch, but what fun would that be? I want to see how convoluted that graph will look when we review our 50th movie.

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