Thursday, September 10, 2009

An Open Letter To A Hardcore Band Keyboardist

Hey man. Howzit.

Look, we need to talk.

No, this isn't about your sound. It's not that. The band has seen fit to include you in their group, so you're obviously contributing to the sound. There has been plenty of precedent for bands that rock out with a keyboardist: Dio, Iron Maiden, Journey. And Van Halen's "1984" was a seminal moment in keyboard-driven metal. So what's the problem, if your sound totally rocks?

Well, the problem is with how YOU rock.



You can mount your keyboard on as many "hardcore" brackets or bang your head as hard as you want, but the fact is is that you're playing an instrument that kind of requires you to sit still with good posture. What, have you forgotten everything your piano teacher taught you when you were 11?




The fact is, the more you try to rock out alongside the bass player or the drummer, the more you look like you're a karate master about to split some planks with your forehead. That keyboard there was expensive, and you should be playing it and treating it with respect. So maybe you just need to accept the reality that you should stand (or better yet, sit) still to play your instrument properly. Or, hey, you could start playing on a key-tar. Kidding.

No comments: