Are you suffering from chronic gastritis or constant bloating? And do you like harmonica music? Then the Ass Harmonica is for you! The makers of Ass Harmonica have scientifically combined embarrassing symptoms of persistent gas with the love of blues harp to create a pleasant and FUN way to get rid of unwanted farty pants.
Here's how it works: Ass Harmonica is a larger-than-normal sized harmonica that you play with your ass instead of your mouth. And since you're playing with your asscrack, the harmonica is held vertically. You discharge any gas you may have into one of the 78 blow holes in the Ass Harmonica, and nothing but beautiful blues music comes out.
Made from military-grade aluminum and stainless steel, the Ass Harmonica is a lovingly handcrafted musical instrument destined to become a beloved heirloom. It also has been endorsed by both the Memphis Blues Historical Society and the National Association of Gastroenterologists. It's become so popular, in fact, that freshmen at Rutgers University in Piscataway, New Jersey will all receive Ass Harmonicas when they arrive for Fall semester! (Duke University and the College of William and Mary will have Ass Harmonicas for their freshmen in the spring.)
The makers of Ass Harmonica are also working on a special Ass Harmonica belt/bracket so users can play while running or riding a recumbent bicycle. Also, look for an eco-friendly version of Ass Harmonica made from bamboo and spittle later this fall!
Also coming soon: Ass Flute, Ass Castanets, and Ass Piccolo
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