In advertising, there are people whose job it is to define a target audience– to figure out exactly to whom one is selling. These people are called ACCOUNT PLANNERS. The good planners are often named Phil Flickinger, but there are others I've come across who do little more than throw together a perfunctory "mood board" with some glitter glue and shuffle around some important sounding words to pass off as work. This, of course, does not apply to my current job, where the planners are not doing that. Just want to clear that up to anyone who thinks that's the case. Because that would be stupid of me to do on a public blog. Ham sandwich.
Here are examples of some "demographics" that BAD planners invent to make it look like they did their job:
"Food Enthusiasts"- These go-get-'em achievers are successful, forward-thinking, and most of all, EAT FOOD! Whether it's breakfast in the morning, lunch around noon, or dinner in the evening, these "Food Enthusiasts" are always game for some "chow!" Some "F.E.'s" even enjoy eating in groups, which makes them very social! Ages 24-36. Income $20K-$789K
"Car Riders"- Ever meet someone who didn't like to walk 100 miles? Chances are they're "Car Riders," an emerging new demographic that really tends to stay inside an automobile when it's in motion. These upwardly mobile goal-oriented passengers are really gung-ho about being in a vehicle that's taking them somewhere! 50% male, 50% female. Income $2K-$3M
"Anti-Murderees"- Today's hectic society has created a new group who has proactively kept up with today's more dangerous times. This contemporary new social subdivision tends to REBEL against the idea of getting killed! Way to go, Anti-Murderees! You have taken a stand AGAINST being stabbed, shot, strangled, pushed out a window, crushed by boulders, shocked in the bathtub, poisoned by mercury, vaporized by atom bomb, and thrown to hungry Rottweilers! Keep up the good work! We salute you in your fight against becoming corpses! Income 4¢-$699 Trillion.
"Maracanalists" Young, hip, and ready to go at a moment's notice, this active group of fun-loving rebels buck the system and shoot for the stars by shoving the handle of Mexican maracas up their ass. Rejecting the traditional use of maracas as musical instruments or their buttholes as buttholes, they have "lifehacked" their environment to achieve their own ends, LITERALLY! Restricted to one guy on 163rd Street in the Bronx. Income, none.
(pictured above, a typical "Mood Board")
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