It takes a man to admit his mistakes. It takes even more of a man to admit to eating a lot of dick that wasn't his to eat.
Joel went speedwalking earlier this morning on a route that he doesn't normally take, and he found himself down a one-way street leading into a gigantic warehouse. The warehouse took up 8 football fields of space, with ceilings as high as an elephant's eye. But by taking the back entrance, Joel failed to see the huge sign out front reading LOS ANGELES DICK DEPOSITORY, or L.A.D.D.
Convinced he stumbled upon a roomful of treasure, Joel dove into the massive crates of dick with both hands flailing. He ate and ate and ate dick, like a dog in a hamburger factory, except for hamburgers it was dick- you get my metaphor, right? Whatever.
Fast forward twenty minutes, and Joel has eaten almost half of the dick in the warehouse. His belly has now bulged to the point of snapping the elastic on his velour track pants. So when L.A.D.D. organizer Cheryl Bleden-Hart showed up, boy was he in a lick of trouble!
Joel has since apologized and has offered to recoup all the eaten dick through a speaking tour on behalf of Cheryl and L.A.D.D.
(pictured above, the rivets are already starting to break on the U.S.S. CK ManSpa.
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