The ProofrEADJer: Finally Getting Warm Edition

Here Are Your Job Numbers For April

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TASK CHAIR IS BACK?! NEVER LEFT, BITCHES

WHO DOES A CHAIR HAVE TO BLOW TO GET A CAMERA OVER HERE?

TASK CHAIR IS HERE TO WHIP SOME WHINY PUSSIES INTO SHAPE. GET MAD! GET AGGRESSIVE! GET  PRODUCTIVE! 

TASK CHAIR HAS AN ADJUSTABLE SEAT TO ROB YOU CANDY-ASSES THE ABILITY TO WHINE ABOUT HOW YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITH AN UNCOMFORTABLE CHAIR. CHECKMATE PUSSIES, THIS CHAIR CAN NEVER BE UNCOMFORTABLE. YOU'VE GOT TASKS TO COMPLETE, BETTER HOP TO.

CLEAN OUT YOUR EARS AND TAKE THE NETI POT OUT OF YOUR ASS, CUZ TASK CHAIR JUST SPUN THE CHORE WHEEL AND IT LANDED ON YOU. BETTER WHIP OUT YOUR W2S AND CALCULATOR, BECAUSE YOU ARE GOING TO PREPARE YOUR TAXES BY YOURSELF. WHAT, YOU DON'T HAVE A CHAIR TO DO IT ON? NICE TRY, COCKSUCKER.

TASK CHAIR HAS ROLLING CASTER WHEELS TO GIVE YOU THE ILLUSION THAT YOU CAN LEAVE AT ANY TIME. NO, IDIOTS, IT'S FOR YOU TO QUICKLY ROLL TO THE PRINTER TO UNSTICK THE JAMS. AND WHERE'S MY COFFEE? SLACK FUCKWADS.

SO GET YOUR ASSES OUT OF THAT PAPA SAN AND GET SHIT DONE RIGHT ON A MUTHAFUCKIN' TARGET BRAND TASK CHAIR. GODDAMN THAT FEELS NICE TO GET SHIT DONE, AMIRITE?

Get Ready For More Shitty Movie Slogan Entries

New shark-related crisis. Same preposterous shark-to-human proportions.  Same shockingly bad CGI. Meet "Shark Exorcist!"

Watch this space for more terrible puns and utterly appropriate movie taglines.

This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness

Big K.R.I.T. moves his pawn to b4 to challenge the black bishop.

Shaliek isn't so sure why that pawn needed to be sacrificed.

Sam Smith imagines moving a pawn to c3 to challenge the bishop again would be a good move, seeing how it would be protected by the pawn on d2.

D'Angelo notices that the white's defenses, particularly the queen and king, are more open because of all the aggressive moves.

DJ Quik is glad the black bishop retreated to a5.

Emilio Rojas is glad white decided to finally castle.

Gema Corredera advances the black pawn to d3,  perhaps forcing the queen out of d1.

Group Home moves the white queen safely out of range to b3.

Pete Rock responds by bringing out the black queen to f6.

Drake and Rihanna see that the black's defenses are solid for the moment but could be broken with a few well-placed bishops.

Sam Smith believes the black king is fucked.

Yung J.R. wonders if there's a Connect Four set lying around...

UAG

Comic Strip Where The Last Panel Is Always A Remote Oil Rig