An Imagined Conversation

"Wanna cig?"
"Sure, thanks. Don't mind if I do."
"I got a lighter here somewhere..."
"No, wait. You can't smoke in here."
"Why not?"
"See the sign? It says no smoking. That an alarm will sound if we do."
"No, that's not what it says at all. It says that no smoking alarm will sound if we smoke. So it's cool."
"Well, if that were so, the word 'alarm' would be on the same line as 'smoking.'"
"There! I found my lighter!"
"Yeah, I don't think we should smoke in here."
"You're totally reading into that sign. It says it's cool to smoke and not to worry, no smoking alarm will sound if we do smoke."
"Why would they put up a sign that says 'it's cool to smoke?' Wouldn't they more likely put up a sign that says 'no smoking?' And what the hell is a smoking alarm?"
"A smoking alarm is what goes off if you're smoking where you shouldn't. Which is what they're assuring us will NOT go off if we smoke here."
"I don't mean to overthink this..."
"I think you are."
"...but wouldn't they just put a sign that says 'SMOKING PERMITTED?'"
"What if they couldn't spell the word 'permitted?'"
"Yeah, I guess you're right."

*casually lights cigarette*
**** ALARM SOUNDS ****

Lid Bib, Mang

Hey, mang. You heard of Lid Bib, mang? New thang, mang. Lid Bib save you from coffee on your shirt, mang. Save your shirt from staings, mang. Why take a chance, mang?

Lid Bib is like what it say, mang. Lid Bib is a bib like the bib you put on a baby, but you put on your coffee, mang. Prevents staings from stainging your shirt, mang. Easy as that, mang; I'm surprised nobody came up with that idea before, mang.


What, you think Lid Bib look ridiculous, mang? I tell you what look ridiculous, mang. Walking into a client meeting with big ol' coffee stang on your tie, mang. That's ridiculous, mang. You'll thang me later, mang, when your shirt and tie are perfect and you land that big Gunderson account, mang. And don' thang me, mang. Thang Lid Bib, mang.

The EADJ Sticker Show

Wherever there are urban areas, there are rats. But also, wherever there are urban areas, there are random stickers. Now, nobody's saying that rats are responsible for putting up random stickers... fuck, I'm not really sure where I'm going with this.

(restart) Hey, have you ever noticed random stickers around town and wondered what the hell they mean? Well, we at EADJ are here to help with our new segment, the EADJ Sticker Show. Using the power of the Internet, we attempt to demystify the sticky goings around town! You're welcome!

• MilkBoy sticker, spotted in an Austin, TX burger joint


Well, pre-sleuthing, I'm guessing this is some kind of record label or music store. And a quick visit to MilkBoy.tv confirms this. It's a recording studio located in Ardmore, Pennsylvania, boasting services such as multi-track digital recording, mixing, and sound design. The fact that the sticker was found in the musical mecca Austin comes as no surprise, then. They also own MilkBoy Coffee, a coffeeshop/bistro that has a stage for music for their label's artists. Neat.



• Sucka Brown sticker, spotted in suburban Los Angeles


Pre-sleuthing, I guess Sucka Brown is some wise-ass self-promoting graffiti artist. A quick Googling, however, revealed Sucka Brown to be worse: a bunch of white guys from Boston playing "funk/pop/rock." And yes, their music is as white bread funk as you can imagine.



Kudos to Sucka Brown for spreading the word of their sub-par, Ruby Tuesday-caliber funk all the way to the San Fernando Valley!

• Leo & Pipo sticker, spotted in Midtown NYC


I assumed Leo & Pipo was some sort of boutique clothier for the sophisticated urbanite who drank Dos Equis and smoked cigarillos. Turns out Leo & Pipo are two Parisian artists who use collages of black and white photography to integrate people from another time into the surroundings of the present.


So essentially their stickers are a big part of their art, and instead of some thoughtless promo slapped on a mailbox, it's *art* slapped on a mailbox. We at EADJ approve of this distinction.

Check EADJ for more sticker investigatin' in the future. Or submit your sticker mysteries to incineratedfrank@yahoo.com

Have I Found Her?

Way, way back in April 2007, I found this random photo developed along with my own at a CVS:


Fast forward five years to the American Airlines Admiral's Club in St. Louis. And after I've had six beers. Mein Gott, I think I've spotted her!





Chalk it up to my photographic memory and devotion to this blog. Or either attribute it to my drunk ass sadly surfing my own blog at an airport. But you have to admit, there is a resemblance. Why she would keep the same hairstyle after 5 years doesn't make a lot of sense, but hell, I've done it.

Some would point out that the girl at the airport doesn't have that birthmark on her left cheek like the girl in the photo. But she easily could've had that removed with laser surgery or a pen knife.


I dunno. I'm pretty convinced I could work for the FBI.

UAG

Racist Appliances, ASSEMBLE!

Let's Comb The Pomade Out of the EADJ Mail Sack!

Two submissions by Andrew, who seems to getting lots of mileage from his new smartphone lomo filter:

Vince gives tribute to Blean Blablohen:


And Andrew does a "PBR Goatse:"


Barry submits this via text:

"I just thought you would want to see this. Why, I can't say."