Accidental Exquisite Corpse

Spotted on FB:

A Message From Hansen Cakes of Los Angeles

Hello. Are you a non-talented relative of someone famous who needs a cake for a special occasion? Let Hansen Cakes of Los Angeles cater your birthday, wedding or coming out party.


Whether you're the undeserving "actress" who got her big break through her television mogul father or the daughter of a lawyer who famously defended a football player who murdered his wife, you can be sure that Hansen Cakes of Los Angeles will accept the money your fathers made to bake and decorate a cake for you.


We also open to catering for undeserving parents of famous children, like Michael & Dina Lohan, Lynne Spears or Joe Simpson.

Pewabic Pottery

Hello from Michigan! We are Pewabic Pottery, Michigan's only historic pottery, founded in 1903 at the height of the Arts & Crafts Movement and now a National Historic Landmark.

For over a century, Pewabic artisans, or "Pewbs," have worked tirelessly to craft our now famous Pewabic pottery. The number of Pewbs grew exponentially in the 1970's, although in recent years the numbers have been shaved a lot due to Brazilian influences.


Our Pewabic studio offers adult education workshops, where people from all over can probe, scratch and bury their face in Pewabic designs. One of our instructors, Ginger, has become quite popular in showing her reddish Pewabic materials. Many students have even commented on the workspace itself, remarking how well our carpet matches our drapes.


So drop by sometime to see and touch our Pewabic treasures. Our building is located in the crotch of Cadillac Blvd and Jefferson Avenue, near the "Y." Look for the building on the raised part of the street, or the "Pewabic Mound."

These Are the People On the Subway

The New York subway system is full of people. Here are some of them:

The Stairwell Texter


I WLL B HOME N 20 MIN LOL! IM STILL @ GRND CNTRL STATN AND PPL ARE WALKING BY ME CUZ IM TOTLLY IN D WAY LIKE SOME FUCKING IDIOT SHITHEAD SKANK LOL!!!!!! IM SRPRIZED NO 1 HAS SIMPLY PUSHT ME DOWN THE STAIRZ AND BE DONE W ME! PRBLM SOLVD!!!

The Douchebag Moron Who Stands In the Fucking Doorway Blocking Anyone Who Wants To Get In Or Out And Uses His Limited Intellect To Put His Back To the Door So He Doesn't Have To See All the People Who Want To Stab Him In His Fucking Eye and Also Nice Hat You Smug Turd


Tiger!


Miss Trashbag Pants


I'm guessing that she was going for the "Trinity from the Matrix" look. But instead she has to avoid street curbs to prevent getting accidentally kidnapped by the Thursday Sanitation Pick-up.

Dun Dundundun, Dun-dun, Dun-dun. Duvall Touched This.

Friend #3, bitches!

Haters: click here for proof

So much to enjoy here.

I found this document among some old papers when packing for New York. It's some sort of press release I was given at a Kinko's in San Francisco. And it's real– I remember talking to the guy at the Kinko's.

Click on the picture to read the whole thing before continuing onto our comments. It's definitely worth it.


Okay, finished? Good. To tackle comments on this bad boy, we're going to have to break it down into categories. Here goes:


HORRIFIC SPELLING



First of all, being a fashion designer in California and misspelling FRED SEGAL is inexcusable. Then misspelling important clients' names like Sheila E., Shari Belafonte, Arsenio Hall, Oaktown's 357, Ace Deuce, and Rappin' 4-Tay is pretty awful, too. This press release was written in November 2001, and I'm pretty sure the Internet was around then, so one could have checked. I lay most of the blame on "Cola," who apparently edited this thing. But how shitty an editor do you have to be to misspell Duvall's own name THREE TIMES in the copy? Wait a minute. Maybe Duvall's name is really spelled "Duval," and Cola misspelled it five times. No, let's just give Cola the benefit of the doubt here.



MC HAMMER'S "DIPPER" PANTS



I guess in the back of my mind at one time in 1990 I did wonder who the hell came up with those enormous pants. Who knew that 11 years later I would come face to face with the guy who puts it as #1 in his portfolio? "World-shattering," indeed. I imagine that Spike DDB got Duvall's help in recreating the Dipper pants for this Superbowl Lay's Potato Chips commercial in 2005:



PUNANY POETS

Okay, for once Cola didn't completely screw up a client's name (except for the word 'troupe'). And a quick Google check verified that the Punany Poets are indeed still in business! It's unknown whether they still sport Duvall's provocative fashions during their performances, however. The Poon Tang Minstrels and The Gaping Vajhole Storytellers couldn't be reached for comment.
Punany Poets Online
Punany Poets on myspace

THE ALBUM COVER


I gotta admit, the "Dipper" pants were pretty ridiculous, but for some reason the outfits that blaxploitation legend Max Julien and Rappin' 4-Tay are wearing are pretty sweet. Maybe it's the fact that it's all white. Or that the jackets drape over the jodhpur-like thighs. And the name "Alpha-male" is a delightful euphemism for pimp. Sweet.

A pretty exhaustive Google and Hotbot search for "Duvall," "MC Hammer" and even "Dipper pants" turned up nothing. Duvall's obscurity may be attributed to his now-outdated designs, but I believe his fame was ultimately screwed from the get-go by poorly edited press releases. Nice going, Cola.


**** LIKE, MAJOR MAJOR UPDATE!!!!!! ****
Andrew Gall found a designer named Duvall on myspace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously. I think this earns Andrew Gall EADJ's first ever Adamantium Mollusk Award.

Link

There's a 99.9999% chance that this is him. Jeez, look at all the powerful friends he has– the Obamas, the Cosbys, Rev. Jesse Jackson, Mayor Daley...it looks like Cola was a nonfactor after all! TUUUUUUU!