Yes, There Is A 2016 Update To The Shorter, Fatter Version Of Scott Peterson, Featuring the Original Cast

By the way, Disney now owns the reboot rights to T.S.F.V.O.S.P.

And second by the way, here is the "lightning in a bottle" that Todd was talking about, from an EADJ entry back in March 5, 2007.

An IM Convo

By the way, Star of Siam is a wonderful Thai restaurant in Chicago, located right next to the Chicago Reader offices on Illinois Avenue, which means you always have reading material when dining at that fine establishment.

An IM Convo

New Segment: Todd Crisman Wants You To KNOW

Hey! Todd Crisman wants you to KNOW that EADJ has a new segment called Todd Crisman Wants You To KNOW!


Also, not ALL PLASTIC IS RECYCLABLE! Get it through your head, Pinbot!

Happy Thanksgiving From EADJ!

Since December 2006, EADJ has consistently -and without fail- posted an entry every weekday, including holidays. Today is no exception.

EADJ wishes you, yours, and yours' yourses a rejoiceful and thankful Thanksgiving holiday or whatever. It is now that EADJ would like to list a few things for which we are thankful:

• The Kinks
• Good times
• Wilona from "Good Times"
• The cleanliness of Montreal
• Family
• Joy buzzers
• Jello molds
• Short skirts
• Taking big dukes
• Todd Crisman
• Styrofoam (also known as polystyrene in the UK)
• Freestyle snowboarding
• Having never been uppercut
• Cymbals
• Samosas
• Fake fur
• The buddy system
• XBox Live
• Scalawags
• Having never been asked to propose a toast
• Pussy
• "Delta Dawn" by Tanya Tucker
• Classy seafood restaurants
• The fact that the wife doesn't like decorating with sand dollars
• The fact that there are other channels when SNL is on
• Nougat
• The Iowa Highway Patrol
• Lip balm
• J.J. Abrams
• Titty bars
• Not having heard marijuana being referred to as "ganja" in a long time
• Skin moisturizer
• Car bingo

Let's moisten the top part of the opening of the EADJ Mail Sack!

Todd Crisman submitted the following photos via cameraphone while he waited for the Metra train:



Man.

Todd Kicks It High! Todd Kicks It Strong!

(pictured above, Todd goes a little crazy when Canned Heat starts playing "Sugar Bee" off their 1970 album Future Blues.

The Michelle-a-thon Continues...

(pictured above, Todd gets in on the action. Click on the photo to see Todd's really stupid smirk)

Words take flight through performance.

****READER CHALLENGE**** Ten bucks to whoever can recite this thing by memory.

MOTHERFUCKING PROOF!!!!!!!

Through the miracle of cell phone camera technology, Todd Crisman has provided video proof of the Shorter, Fatter Version of Scott Peterson. Meanwhile, the Dow does a 180 and climbs 4000 points to reach an unprecedented 16,000. Horses start talking. Water becomes currency. JAG reruns become awesome.

The reaction has been overwhelming:

"OMG SFVOSP" - Joe Nudelman

"I'd somehow always imagined him taller and thinner." - Scott Peterson

"Dude, man, this is HUGE!!!" - Todd Crisman

"Omigod, I've never seen a shorter, fatter Scott Peterson in my life!" - Emily Sander

"I'm surprised the site didn't crash today. biggest news ever. This is a true milestone." - Andrew Gall

¢¢¢ SFVOSP: DEVELOPING STORY ¢¢¢

The Shorter, Fatter Version of Scott Peterson was briefly spotted when an elevator stopped on the 22nd floor of 225 North Michigan. A witness glimpsed him when an elevator stopped on 22. The doors to an opposite elevator were closing and he could be seen very, very briefly. He remains very elusive.

What this means:

1) The SFVOSP definitely works in this building.

2) The SFVOSP likely works in the same elevator bank as Cramer-Krasselt.

3) The SFVOSP probably works on the 22nd floor.

4) Joe Nudelman (don't laugh), Andrew Gall, Larry Liss, Todd Crisman, and David Estoye are not delusional.

More to come as this story develops.

(picture above, a witness' rendition of the SFVOSP as seen from the elevator)

An unexpected development

In a twist of Melrose Place-like proportions, Todd Crisman has announced the existence of a "younger, snarkier David Estoye." It appeared to be some sort of retribution for the constant harpings by Team EADJ about the "Shorter, Fatter Version of Scott Peterson," but closer view of the photos and movie have proven Todd correct. Whether this is a coincidence or an elaborate hoax to distract Team EADJ from their mission is unknown. What is known is that Todd Crisman's hairdo is the building's only salt-and-pepper bowl cut.

(pictured above, not David Estoye)

SFVOSP Update on EADJ

Witness Todd Crisman admitted having spotted the shorter, fatter version of Scott Peterson last week. He disagreed that SFVOSP was significantly shorter than Scott Peterson "which makes it even more nefarious," but he confirmed that he was indeed fatter. "Significantly."

Todd said that he tried to take a photo of SFVOSP on the way to Starbucks with his mobile phone but creeped out some girls nearby. He also said that SFVOSP seems "genuinely jolly" and always walks with his hands in his pockets.

We at EADJ are pursuing this story closely and will give you more information as it becomes available. Now back to Two and a Half Men, which is already in progress.