New Segment: Todd Crisman Wants You To KNOW

Hey! Todd Crisman wants you to KNOW that EADJ has a new segment called Todd Crisman Wants You To KNOW!


Also, not ALL PLASTIC IS RECYCLABLE! Get it through your head, Pinbot!

Some Totally Unfair Criticism

Okay, I have seen some shit art before, but this might possibly be the blandest, most appalling turd of vanilla-beige cock that my eyes have been unfortunate to be molested by. Still-lifes are boring already, but what's this? A tray carrying a bowl of potpourri and some goddamned bottles of dried flower petals? What kind of fluffy-cloud, Holly Hobby, "I Love Country" dystopian prison camp is this supposed to be from? Rape me.


So you've got some shittily painted petals (not detailed enough to be realistic and not abstract enough to be Impressionistic) sitting in a poorly proportioned bowl that's covered in more smudgily painted petals. That's both meta and piss-poor! Also, it's labeled "POTPOUTTI," either because the painter cannot spell "potpourri" correctly or never learned their lower case r's. Either way, it makes a travesty of both public education and the state of art. What an abortion.


I could further rag on "Garuboa" or "Hamlox" or whatever the piss this person's name is, and how howlingly hilarious I find that they'd think someone would want to copy this artwork illegally, but I can think of more pleasant things to do, like chugging a punchbowl full of diarrhea or watching "Grey's Anatomy."

Todd Kicks It High! Todd Kicks It Strong!

(pictured above, Todd goes a little crazy when Canned Heat starts playing "Sugar Bee" off their 1970 album Future Blues.

The Michelle-a-thon Continues...

(pictured above, Todd gets in on the action. Click on the photo to see Todd's really stupid smirk)