UAG

Say It Ain't So, I Will Not Go, Turn Pathmark Off, Carry Me Home

The Most Common Answers That Soccer Bunny Gives During ESPN Interviews

• "Yeah, I'm a goalie Soccer Bunny. That's why I get to touch the ball with my hands."

• "No, in Europe, I'm still known as Soccer Bunny, not Football Bunny."

• "Yes, that's supposed to be my likeness on the bottom of the box."

• "About $680 million a year."

• "As a matter of fact, yes. I'm dating Bella Hadid."

• "I'm not going to answer that question. But I'll just say that I'm part Moroccan."

• "Four."

• "No siblings. Although my cousin is a chocolate shark in Walgreen's."

• "No, $3.68 doesn't sound like a random, arbitrary number to me."

• "Hmm... Probably Seth Myers, Rebecca Black and Indira Gandhi."

• "Missionary."

• "No, I can't do any product endorsements since I am a product myself."

• "'The Shack' by William P. Young. It is so inspirational."

Spotted In A McDonald's Bathroom

Their Southwest Salad gets some free advertising.