Thanks to suckers investors like you, Kickstarter has helped this entrepreneurs get these new projects off the ground and onto shelves:
• Dehydrated Cheez-Its: just add water!
• A mattress that jerks you off at different speeds. What's your sleep number?
• The Wheel™
• Laser bread slicer for geeks who don't care about the safety of their children
• Suffering-flavored Tang
• Miniature cabbage you can grow in your ear
• A high-end shoebox that can hold your high-end coupons for high-end groceries
• Another fucking device for you to keep up with
• Instagram filter that makes you look like you're not a shitty attention-seeking Instagrammer
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