Monday, January 18, 2021

Bank of America Presents: New Trending Scams To Avoid to Protect Your Account



The security of your account at BofA is the most important thing to us. We have proactively discovered all the new ways that scammers are trying to access your information in order to steal your hard-earned money so that they can buy the newest iPhone to take pornographic selfies to post onto Instagram and OnlyFans. Sluts. Here are the newest ways that scammers are trying to fool you into sharing your account info:

• They hire a professional impressionist to pose as your mother to call you and ask you why you haven't found a new job yet and by the way what's your PIN number

• They post memes on Facebook that say things like: "LIKE if your account number ends in 5574 LOL"

• Instead of "phishing", they actually go fishing and forget about scamming you for a change. It's a good afternoon.

• They start their own bank called Bonk of America, with everything exactly like Bank of America but with the letter "o": stationery, signage, brochures, name tags. Then when you walk in to make a deposit, they say all the things we would say, but with an "o", like "How ore you?" It's creepy and pointless, really, but you gotta admire their initiative.

• They access all six Infinity Stones and change your account and routing number to something that's easily guessed. Gee, you'd think they'd do something more epic with all that power, but nope!

• Some guy shows up at your door claiming to be your long lost cousin Yadduk. You hit it off with him and he starts living in your guest room. In time, he becomes like family and on your deathbed you bequeath to Yadduk your Bank of America account. SCAMMED!

• They try the up-front approach and ask you for $450,000.

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