Monday, March 2, 2020

The Consumer Electronics Show 2020: What To Expect


The Consumer Technology Association's Consumer Electronics Show, or CES, is almost here, and people are wondering what new consumer gadgets and technology to expect this year. Here is an exclusive sneak peek at what you can look forward to at CES 2020:

• Electronic gourd holders

• Branded babies

• A new phone with a touchscreen that uh, does something new?

• Wireless racism

• Sex toys that our dipshit CES organizers won't get all prudish about

• 3D food printer that can cook lousy like your mom oh snap

• lifelike Tipper Gore android welcomes you

• Discussion of quantum computing by underqualified PR executives

• Shitty salad bar

• Maglev coffins for futuristic mortuaries

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