Hello. This is Grant Holdens, Jr. from the HR department. I have been asked by senior management to supply the rest of you employees with job numbers for your respective assignments. Please bear in mind that any questions regarding these job numbers should be directed to accounting. But any questions about whether it's appropriate to touch a co-worker's knee during a work function should be sent my way.
Here are the job numbers:
49024: Sniffing the last donut and putting it back
31380: Teaching anyone how to floss
00001 (Unbillable): Saying "thank you" to the housekeeping staff as they empty your trash
04204: Drinking the bathroom's free mouthwash for the alcohol content
76477: Saying "Can you hear me?" in conference calls
94426: Burping gyros
53589: Spoiling "Rosemary's Baby"
49213: Arguing that Cookie Crisp is actually cookies, not cereal
33543: Shitting
72101: Filming stupid unboxing videos for your YouTube channel
85596: Shaking it but not breaking it
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