(This entry was written after consuming 5 biers from the Bierhaus NYC, pictured below)
Your local Red Lobster is firing up the pot and getting ready for this year's slew of lobster-tainted goodness! Here are just some of the many new ways that you can enjoy lobster at Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster:
• We invite all the girls (except Monica) over for a slumber party, where we all wear fun lobster-themed pajamas with feet and watch that romantic comedy where Gerard Butler is an assassin or whatever. That is technically one of the ways to enjoy lobster at Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster!
• You piss in a Ziploc bag, seal it up, and then keep it in your glove compartment until one of the members from the Homeowner's Association tells you not to park your car on the street after 8pm. Whatever happens next sounds like a pretty terrific way you could enjoy lobster at Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster!
• We take succulent roasted rock lobster tail and butter-poached Maine lobster tail, serve it with a creamy lobster-and-shrimp linguini Alfredo, plus your choice of side. Then once you try to dig in, we slap the whole plate off your table and scream, "What have YOU done to deserve any of this?" Then we storm out, crying. Yet one more delicious way one can enjoy lobster at Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster!
• We force you to do 200 sit-ups. Then we brush butter on your abs and see if any of that looks like lobster morsels. If YES, then you are free to dig in and eat whatever you see. If NO, death. Now, you can't tell me that's not a way you could enjoy lobster at Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster!
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