Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Pathmark by Robert Frost

Here's Another Batch of Shit Advertisers Want You To Say Goodbye To

Previous entry of shit advertisers want you to say goodbye to here.

And feel free to play this while reading the entry:

Some Drawbacks From Headphones That Instantly Turn Into Speakers

Headphones that instantly turn into speakers sounds like a pretty neat idea at first glance. However, here are a few possible drawbacks from using this innovative product:

• Sudden excruciating ear pain

• PERMANENT HEARING LOSS

• Unexpectedly revealing to everyone around you that you listen to Three Doors Down

• I SAID, PERMANENT HEARING LOSS

• Unimpressed friends

This Week In Hip Hop Mixtapes

MOONED.

I like my Lil West sealed fresh from the studio.

Trippin' at the custom vinyl store.

I can't tell if this is supposed to be funny or sad. Maybe both? Or hopeful?

"Oh, a Carvel ice cream cake sounds gooooood right about now..."

#accidentalWuTang

Finally, an anti-gun rap cover. But maybe it's so PRO-gun that it's anti-gun now?

Obama parodies will live on forever, way past Shepard Fairey and the rest of us.

This is neat. I wonder if the album sounds like a toy commercial for girls.

When rap and pro wrestling mash up, which one is considered high brow? Also, where are their ears?

Must... resist... Arrested Development reference...

Perfect. No change. Let's hear this!

Comic Strip Where The Last Panel Is Always A Remote Oil Rig

And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto On How To Redeem General Mills Box Tops For Education

It all started in California in 1996.  General Mills wanted to create a program to help support education and benefit America’s schools – and so, Box Tops for Education™ was born. As part of the initial test program, Box Tops were only available on select Big G cereals, such as Cheerios™, Total™ and Lucky Charms™. Today, America’s schools have earned over $868 million, and you can find Box Tops on hundreds of products throughout the grocery store and online.

1) To receive payment for any Box Tops, or Bonus Box Tops, schools must be enrolled and determined to be active in the Box Tops for Education program.

2) Your school’s Box Tops Coordinator will collect all the Box Tops and send them in so your school can get cash.

3) Checks are mailed to schools twice a year in December and April.

And speaking of checks, I've actually had clients who told the restaurant where they had dined to put their check "on the limo's tab".  That's not how any of this works, folks. Pay your waiter!

Be safe, kids!

BY THE POWER OF PATHMARK

Here Are Your Job Numbers For The Week of February 18

Hello hi this Carl from food truck CEO ask me to send email about you have to fill out time sheet for job to get money and need job number please do this today or no money for pay at end of day CEO say thank you I say thank you and no flat bread for gyros today sorry

Here job number

14004: Pretending to give a shit

95562: Explaining the difference between Charmander, Charmeleon and Charizard

36924: Putting that guy on Facebook IN HIS PLACE!

JB8723: Getting on up (get on up)

JB8724: Staying on the scene (like a sex machine)

JB8725: Taking 'em to the bridge

JB8726: Hitting me now

JB8727: Shaking your money maker

JB8728: Hitting it and quit

UAG

Ice Water Was Mad.

Ice Water was mad.

Vicks Humidifier yawned.

Mustachioed Folding Chairs tried to smile.

Blue Crate tried to hide from it all.

Tree Bag Snail looked nervous.

Refrigerator looked shocked.

Sconce and Vent avoided eye contact.

Evil Amazon Box cackled evilly.

Bearded Backpack was baffled.

Overlook Medical Center asked for a little off the top.

Hidden Play Rug Skull waited for his moment.

Three gentlemen on the roof drank from straws.

Quarter King looked sad about it all.

And the House That Looked Like Cathy just said "Ack!"