Thursday, February 1, 2018

Assessing The New Jersey Wings Celebrity-Named Combos


In Union, NJ, there's a joint that is gleefully using celebrity's names without their permission to sell their deep-fried foodstuffs. Before someone sends them a cease & desist letter, here are our thoughts about the appropriateness and relevance of these famous New Jerseyans' names to their assigned "combo."


Christie Combo
Relevance: 8 out of 10. Four pieces of fried chicken seem like a lot for a meal, but probably not enough for the obese former governor. 
Serving Suggestion: Eat it alone on a closed beach.


The Springsteen
Relevance: 6 out of 10. A burger is pretty all-American. But only 1 side?! Bruce rolls deep with a lot of sides, brother.
Serving Suggestion: On the NJ Turnpike going 70.


The Streep
Relevance: 8 out of 10. Meryl Streep's ability to morph into any personality goes surprisingly well with the concept of a wrap.
Serving Suggestion: In Africa


The Bon Jovi and the Sinatra Combos
Relevance: 3 out of 10. Not sure how Bon Jovi relates to buffalo wings, and I sure as hell wouldn't refer to Sinatra as "boneless." These two are huge disconnects.
Serving Suggestion: On a steel horse/in New York, New York


The Jeter Combo
Relevance: 2 out of 10. With a career batting average of .310, 3465 hits, 260 home runs, and 1311 RBIs, I think Derek Jeter deserves better than "chicken fingers."
Serving Suggestion: Eating off of Minka Kelly's ass.

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