TO: ALL RECIPIENTS, BOSTON OFFICE
FROM: AUTOMATIC TIMESHEET MAILBOT
BEGINNING AUTOMATED MESSAGE:::
:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
WASSUP BITCHES
TIME TO FILL OUT YOUR TIMESHEETS BEFORE THE WEEK IS OVER. PLEASE REFER TO THE ENCLOSED .XLT FILE FOR THE RELEVANT JOB NUMBERS FOR WHATEVER ASSIGNMENT YOU'RE WORKING ON
FAILURE TO COMPLY WILL RESULT IN AUTOMATIC TERMINATION. J/K I GOT YOU FOR A SECOND THERE LOL. I BET I HAD YOU GOING, JAMIEL.
ANYWHO, HERE ARE YOUR JOB NUMBERS:
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53964: Making love out of nothing at all
93550: Stopping short of a full Presidential endorsement
61632: Reporting to the Better Business Bureau that the massage parlor didn't give you "full release"
39399: Tweeting your fucking lunch
09009: Instagramming your fucking lunch
29282: Facebooking your fucking lunch
22194: Finally eating your fucking lunch
07353: Tripping a little and walking it off like you were picking up the pace
22186: Creating an infographic of Kevin James' entire filmography
20459: Challenging Joyce to a M*A*S*H trivia contest
56100: Jerking off to that hot older woman on "Shark Tank"
86651: Really regretting making that taco joke to that Mexican guy in accounting
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