"Okay, boys. We're the last line of defense here. Puns... really bad puns... have taken over the city, and it's up to us to bring it all back under control. These puns are going to be coming fast and furious in a few moments, and I want you all to HOLD THE LINE. Everything's counting on this or it's total chaos. Let's go."
"Holy shit. 'She's a natural born Keller?' That is such a LAZY tagline."
*steps on the pun's neck and puts a ziptie around its ankles*
"Crepe Cod." "Crepe of Wrath." And even "Crepe-e Puns." This is a bit worse, but still generally lazy. We can handle this."
*easily deflects the puns with a riot shield*
"Groooaan. This is pretty bad. Stay tight, boys, don't let the 'hay' and the 'moo' combine forces here."
"Ha, you said 'force.'"
"HOLD THE LINE!!!!!"
"WE NEED TO RETREAT A FEW STEPS!!!!!! 'USEFUL? TOTES' is more than our defense line can withstand. Use the fire hose! Use the pepper spray! Throw some stun grenades!"
"RETREAT!!!!! RETREAT!!!!!! I'LL SEE YOU ALL BACK AT THE STATION– I'M OUTTA HERE!!!!!!!"
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