Monday, September 29, 2014

The Worst-Selling Items at the Airport Hudson News


• "Fuck Yeah, Toledo!" Onesie
• Squeezable Commuter Jet Stress Increaser
• Nut Bar
• Collectible Letter Opener (Blade Removed for Security Reasons)
• Unique Inflatable Neck Pillow That Doesn't Make You Look Like An Asshole
• Counterfeit Boarding Pass
• Life-Size Predator Statue with Working LED Sensor and Sounds (Shipping Not Included)
• Nut Bar
• Skymall (Hardback Edition)
• TSA Metal Detector Wand Butt Plug
• Framed Photo of Your Wife and Kids At Home Doing Just Fine Without You
• Terrified lost child, age 6. Goes by the name "Camilla."
• Mandalay Bay, Las Vegas Prayer Cloth
• Soaking wet sock full of pistachios and Tylenol
• Pierce Brosnan's Turd Paperweight
• Nut Bar
• 1/48 Scale Model of the United Express Wing of the Lincoln, Nebraska Airport
• Used CD- Alanis Morisette "Jagged Little Pill"
• Ashley Madison Condom & Herpes Testing Kit
• 'Beats By Dr. Scholl' Footphones
• 4 Gallon Jug of Clorox
• Someone's Misplaced Charts of Nabisco's Q2 2012 West Coast Distribution  Channels
• Non-functioning, Decorative Parachute
• Universal Power Adaptor That Never Fucking Works
• Coupon good for $5 off any Chili's Express purchase. Price: $10
• Hand-carved Amish Rape Whistle
• Blank Journal Book-On-Tape
• Nut Bar
• Cracker Barrel-branded Actual Barrel For Holding Real Crackers In

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