The Last Two Weeks In Hip Hop Awfulness

Hey Cease, when a bevy of whores is grabbing for your junk, maybe it's not a good time to giggle like a schoolgirl.

One good way to see Alpha Centauri without a high-powered telescope is to rub your eyes for 10 minutes straight.

Karla spilled an entire pumpkin spice latte all over the hotel room and didn't even tip housekeeping. Bitch.

THOSE STAINS AT THE THEATRE? THAT AIN'T BUTTER.

"What the fuck, guys? I'm gone for a day, and you two leave the apartment a disaster?! I'm not even gone for 24 hours, and there's foot powder, Reader's Digest magazines, and bags of garbage piled up in the foyer. You guys are hoarders- there's no other word for it, man."

Stock search:" Labor." First result. Boom.

"Is this the real life / is this just fantasy / caught in a landslide…"

Stefani opens her ass cheeks to fart more quietly in the Champagne Room.

Plies is such a dedicated producer, there isn't even room for a CHAIR in his mixing booth!

"Hey, sorry fellas, but you know those exotic Lamborghinis you wanted for your album cover shoot? Well, all we could afford are some motorized Barbie Corvettes from Pep Boys. You'll make do, right?"

I guess if you don't care about proper lighting, basic human size proportions, glowing shoulders, or the fact that the photo of the car you used has reflections from a car show, this is a pretty decent album cover.

I can't tell if M.O.P. is "Free Parking" or "Go Directly To Jail." But it's nice to see how ballin' Monopoly Guy can be.

"Sponsored by Trukfit and Microsoft." That sounds unlikely but I'm too lazy to Google confirmation.

Puff Daddy? He's still around? Are those lines of foot powder?

Pro tip: If you're going to wear a black tie, make sure your facial hair doesn't also look exactly like a black tie.

No change. That cover is awesome.

"Hey, you guys are so far away! Come on up closer to the stage! It's an all ages show- there's no need to be so far back! Come closer, guys, we're going to spin some fun music over here! Okay, whenever you feel like it- there's plenty of room here by the monitors. We're also selling CDs for $5 after the show."

This was the best shot the photographer could take, because PartyNextDoor had to pee really badly and insisted on using his bathroom at home even though the photographer assured him the studio bathroom was perfectly clean.

Now, that's a real shame the guy with a "B" on his hat didn't stand between the guy with the "A" on his hat and the guy with the "C" on his hat. Missed opportunity there.

Meet your new Zumba instructor at Curves: Malissa! Malissa is a licensed Zumba, Zumba Toning, and Aqua Zumba instructor with a ton of energy and a boombox full of terrific workout tunes! Malissa comes from Brookfield, Connecticut and loves being fit and healthy, and she's got what it takes to get you on YOUR FEET and working ON YOUR CORE! The sign up sheet is located outside room 206.

Oh, that's a new hand signal. What does it mean.

Weird. This was all done by hand, but it still somehow feels lazier than one of those Photoshop jobs.