Six Lies Told By The Falun Gong Brochure

Let me start by saying we are calling this brochure a liar, not the members of the Falun Gong movement. We at EADJ understand the political struggle that its practitioners experience in China, and this entry in no way condones their horrific treatment by the Chinese or Falun Gong's founder Li Hongzhi's controversial views on homosexuality. This is simply a stupid entry by a blog mainly devoted to the consuming of penis by my friend Joel. So, hold your outrage, both of you readers.

1) Forbearance wasn't originally one of Falun Gong's precepts; the original third one was "hoes."

2) Although heavily promoted as such, not every Falun Gong member will receive a Land's End crew neck sweater.

3) "No membership or initiation, no rituals or obligations." Other than BE YOURSELF and HAVE FUN!!!!!!

4) Falun Gong is a nonviolent, peaceful practice, although some members occasionally start fights at the beach with a "You want some a' this?" pose.

5) If you Google Image search "Asian woman" and "Penetrating the Two Extremes," you're not likely to see this photo.

6) This QR Code actually takes you to the Flash game QWOP. Which is awesome.

The Six Lies Told Type Foundry is proud to announce the "Six Lies Told" font, an illegible, shitty throwback to 90's grunge fonts. Use it on your NO FEAR bumper stickers, your Godsmack web ring logo on Geocities, or Rolling Stone print ads for Motorola pagers.