Monday, February 10, 2014

Six Lies Told By the Bryce Ski Resort Brochure

1) That kid thinks he's totally hot shit but he ain't fucking nuthin'.

2) Although the Fireside Grill lists beer last amongst their offerings, it is the main reason anyone goes there, even at 9am.

3) You see that snowboarder goofing like he's about to jump down off the lift? He was totally too much of a wuss to do it, earning the scorn of his two braver, wiser buddies.

4) "NASTAR Racing." That's a misprint. The Horst Locher Snowsport School actually offers NASCAR Racing, the National Association for Stock Car Auto Racing that governs over 1500 auto races at over 100 tracks around the country and in Canada.

5) Under a very loose interpretation of this Virginia law, a carpet lift operator could feasibly stab anyone on the Bunny Slope and get away with it.

6) Contrary to legend, the owners of Bryce Resort had no intention of making the ski trail map resemble a cartoon fish.

EADJ is proud to announce that starting March 31, participating Sizzler restaurants will offer a special "6 Lies" Rib Eye steak. This delicious, well-marbled cut of beef is seared generously with their signature steak seasoning and grilled to perfection. Served with your choice of side of either smashed potatoes or steak fries, the "6 Lies" Rib Eye will be hard to beat. $12.99 with coupon.

Bonus: Apparently Google+ detected the cover of this brochure and saw fit to add this:

The hell?!

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