Kleenex® Nags The Public

Spotted in a recent issue of Advertising Age: Kleenex takes out a full page ad to remind the public not to use its name as a generic synonym for tissue.


"by using the name Kleenex® as a generic term for tissue, you risk erasing our coveted brand name that we've worked so hard for all these years."

And why would I give a shit again? Do I have any vested interest in erasing your coveted brand name? Look, I just need a snotrag to wipe my boogers. I don't care if you grab me a tissue or a Kleenex® or a ShamWow™. Here, just give me that Sock®.


"Just pretend it's in permanent marker." Fuck you, Kleenex. I'm gonna pretend I'm blowing my nose with all the money you spent on this ad. In fact, I'm gonna xerox a kleenex, seal it up with cellophane and scotch tape, then fedex it to you in a thermos filled with dry ice. How about that, motherfuckers®?