Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster refused to let up, assaulting everyone in the immediate area with chunks of butter and delicious morsels of mouth-watering lobster. Red Lobster has come up with even more ways for you and your effeminate boyfriend to enjoy lobster at Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster. Try these latest savory, scrumptious offerings:
The following entries were all entirely submitted by Andrew Gall:
Upon entering the restaurant, you are blindfolded. From there, you feel the floor dropping out beneath you. You fall approximately 3 stories before landing on a soft beanbag. The blindfold is removed, and it is revealed that you're in a teen's basement bedroom. The beanbag you landed on is shaped like a lobster, and the teen and his friends are performing an all-ages music show for you as part of Red Lobster's Dining With the Rockin' Youth® initiative. You're given all-you can eat lobster and warm cheese biscuits while you're treated to the sounds of tomorrow. And that's just another way to enjoy Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster!
You order lobster at one of our fine establishments. As you tie your bib and prepare to dig in, you hear a distant voice speaking to you. This voice sounds mysteriously like your long lost father. While you eat, he whispers the sweet and prolific fatherly advice you lacked growing up, leading you to a life of crime in which you repeatedly ripped off discount tire distributors. As your meal winds down, you feel overcome with the right answers in life, and your belly is just as overcome with lobsteriffic delight. Your whispering pseudo-father promises to stay in touch, and you vow to stop robbing tire stores. And that's just another way to enjoy Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster!
On the first Tuesday of every month, each dinner patron gets a free Red Lobster painter's cap and choke chain for their pet. And that's just another way to enjoy Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster!
As you pick up your knife and fork and prepare to indulge in some succulent lobster, a horn sounds. Up-tempo music plays, a horn section begins, and confetti (which are actually small bites of lobster) begins blowing all around you. Patrons are encouraged to catch the lobster confetti pieces in their mouths, creating a "lobster-winter-wonderland" of sorts, as you'll be instantly reminded of eating fresh snowflakes while wearing snow pants. The confetti doesn't stop blowing until the entire table is covered or someone needs a pee break (whichever comes last!) And that's just another way to enjoy Lobsterfest® at Red Lobster!
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