Okay, look, girls. What you call "jazz dance," isn't. It might be lively, energetic dancing, but it sure isn't jazz, so please leave the goddamned word "jazz" out of it.
You know what jazz is? Jazz is an unimaginably beautiful genre of music formed from pain, hard work and pure virtuosity by the disparate likes of Thelonius Monk, John Coltrane, Dizzy Gillespie, Chet Baker, Ella Fitzgerald, Miles Davis, Sarah Vaughn, Jimmy Dorsey, Sun Ra, Count Basie, Diana Krall, Tito Puentes and Henry Mancini. You're just a bunch of part-time dancers in leotards running around onstage to "She's Like The Wind."
I know. How can I be singing the praises of one form of expression while questioning the legitimacy of another? Well, it's because you're attaching a hard-earned word to your thing that has already been claimed and well-established AND whose definition has already been strained to its outermost boundaries. Just don't call whatever the fuck you do "jazz" and I'll stop belittling whatever it is you all are doing up there in leotards and suspenders. I mean, you're not even dancing to "Blue Train." I'd like to see you try doing "jazz hands" to this:
I hereby formally rename "Jazz Dance" as "Stacy Dance." Just because a lot of you are named Stacy, and it really kind of fits.
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