Party!

In the December issue of NJ Kids' Directory, we spotted an ad for a party venue called Once Upon A Party, which seems to be prepared for pretty much any themed party:


(It's "under new management," so you know there's less kidnapping.)

After calling the place, it turns out that the list of parties in the ad isn't their full menu. Here are some additional themed parties that they didn't have room to include:

• Bachelor Party
• Key Party
• Monkey Adoption/Abandonment Party
• Mommy Just Needs To Sit Down For A Minute And Have A Scotch Party
• Pity Party
• It's Time To Grow The Fuck Up Party
• Tea Party (Which Claims To Be About Less Government Intervention And Fiscal Responsibility But Actually Can't Stand The Thought Of Having A Black President)
• Spread Lice Party
• Dad Paid Alimony Party
• Sweet 16 Party
• Sweet 36 Party
• Basque Nationalist Party
• Compulsory Attendance Party
• Party That None Of These Little Shits Will Ever Remember
• Canker Party
• Fudgepacking Party
• Intervention
• Heavy Metal Parking Lot Party