An Old Document From My Chicago Days

The following letter was submitted to the creative recruiter of a Chicago ad agency by a "Heather M." looking for a job as junior copywriter. Needless to say, it was not your standard cover letter.

Click to read. It's *totally* worth it.



So everyone in the creative department had a good laugh over Heather's absurd letter, from the very opening sentence "When we DIE" to "Another touch of pink next to that green, please." Even the sign off, instead of a simple "Sincerely," there's that fantastic pseudo-haiku. Truly an unintentional work of comic genius.

But the thing was, we wanted to tell this girl that a cover letter like that would SCARE prospective employers away; it was just way too artsy and out there. So we wanted to give her this constructive criticism without revealing our identity. The solution: call Heather from a cell phone with a blocked number and play a message using text-to-speech. The message sounded a lot like this.

We called the number, left the mysterious message on her voicemail, and let the universe correct itself. We never heard from Heather again.

We did, however, receive an excellent piece of art based on the infamous letter, created by the ad agency's own PRESIDENT! We were astonished that he had taken the time to make it:


Holy Lord. We all had a lot of free time back then.