(Classy but modern but non-threatening electronic music. Think US3 meets Royksopp)
Open on loving shot of luxury car zooming down a desert road.
SMUG, OLDER WHITE MALE VO: When design meets engineering...
The camera pans lovingly over the luxury car to show another side of it, but instead of a desert road, it is now magically IN A CITY!!!!
SMUG, OLDER WHITE MALE VO: And precision meets art...
The camera continues to pan lovingly over the luxury car to the back. And now the cityscape has magically transformed into a HILLY, WINDING ROAD!!!! HOW DO THEY DO THAT?!
SMUG, OLDER WHITE MALE VO: The result is magnificent luxury, wrapped in the engineering excellence of safety and comfort...
The camera zooms magically THROUGH THE BACK WINDOW into the car interior and over the driver's shoulder. HOLY SHIT, NOBODY HAS EVER SEEN THAT CAMERA MOVE BEFORE!
SMUG, OLDER WHITE MALE VO: Not to mention power. And performance. And handling. And craftmanship.
Cut to smug white guy (or smug white woman) driving. Cut to foot hitting the pedal. Cut to car zooming fast down the road with tiny legal type: "Professional Driver on closed course. Do not attempt. Please obey local traffic laws. Not a real car."
(Music right then kicks into higher tempo classy electronic music– think Justice meets Goldfrapp)
SMUG, OLDER WHITE MALE VO: Add a 4.3-liter V8 engine with Induction Control and six-speed sequential-shift transmission, and you've got yourself the ultimate in luxury sleek styling and...God, I can't do this anymore. It's just a bunch of the same crap words shuffled a different way! It's all so meaningless, the fact that I...
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