Xylomania!

"No, Mr. Thomas, this is a vibraphone."

The manager of the music store was cordial and professional, although it was clear he was irritated by Joel's questions.

"What's the difference?"

"Well, they're both very similar, but a xylophone uses wooden bars whereas the vibraphone is made with aluminum..."

"Which one gets mad dick?"

"Excuse me?"

"I was told the xylophone or the vibes or whatever gets you some mad dick. And I love to eat dick, so get me the instrument that makes that shit happen."

"I'm not really sure what to say to that."

"C'mon, man! Xylo or Vibro? Tell me which one is the on-ramp to the dick highway!"

"Are you speaking in metaphors?"

"Yeah, the on-ramp part. But the mad dick is literal."

"Maybe you'd be interested in a glockenspiel instead. That has metal bars, but is smaller and higher in pitch."

"Oh! Do you get mad dick from that?"

"Sir, you get mad CRAZY dick from a glockenspiel."

"Well, serve that shit up, my brotha!"

exeunt

(pictured above, I title this one "Of Course I'm Listening To You.")