Sources have not confirmed this yet, but apparently Joel did NOT eat dick yesterday.
Four think tanks in Washington are trying to come up with a theory to explain this astounding aberration. Their theories so far:
• Joel really did eat dick, but he lied that he didn't.
• Joel somehow found the Invisible Man
• Lent?
• The security cameras that usually record Joel eating dick were for some reason turned off by Joel's chimp servant.
• Joel has found a hole to another dimension where he can eat an infinite amount of new dick while looking like he never ate a single dick in this dimension.
• That Joel just dropped the ball, and this universe is about to invert on itself.
(pictured above, Old Navy introduces the new Jessica Foster line)
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