Comic Strip Where The Last Panel Is Always A Remote Oil Rig

A List of the Newest Perks Added to the AMC Stubs Program

AMC Stubs continues to enjoy increased membership numbers by offering more rewards than any other movie membership program. Here are the latest that they are offering:

• A handsome man will sit next to you and pretend to be interested in you even though you're happily married and just need to feel wanted once in a while

• We will feed gummi worms to you, mama bird style.

• You will be allowed to wear your bedazzled loincloth to the show JUST THIS ONCE.

• Free signed poster of the movie you're watching by actor James Brolin, whether he's in the movie or not

• We'll fill your bucket with unpopped popcorn and a cigarette lighter and let you do it all yourself

This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness

 Here's the latest in hip hop mixtape artwork:

A ski mask and a nap is all I need too, buddy.

But sure, maybe the edge of a sink is comfy, too.

Latto about to finish her shift at the local carwash, completely unaware of the nearby camera.

"Fine Ho, Stay" is not the Lego Movie sequel I was expecting.

Still waiting for that new Blade movie from Marvel.

Oh JEEZ, I'm not touching this one.

EADJ Off-Brand T.P. Round-Up

Brand: RightChoice (RC)

Brand Imagery: An explosion of midcentury green leaves

Brand Promise: You made the right choice.

Feels Like: You did not.

Brand: Elegant

Brand Imagery: White leaves against a serene blue sky

Brand Promise: A getaway into a relaxing sky

Feels Like: A miniature skater grinding along the rim of your butthole

Brand: Big Roll

Brand Imagery: Bold black type on a stark white background

Brand Promise: Plenty to wipe with

Feels Like: A lack of quality, not quantity

Brand: POM

Brand Imagery: A stylized O that looks like a whirlpool (or Sonic the Hedgehog?)

Brand Promise: The cushy comfort of a pom-pom

Feels Like: A high school football team made their entrance by tearing through your asshole

Brand: Cascades Pro Select

Brand Imagery: Sprinkles on a pink donut?

Brand Promise: A high quality trip to the bathroom stall

Feels Like: Accidentally sitting on a fireplace poker made of Brillo

"A Sword by Itself Does Not Slay; It is Merely the Pathmark Used By the Slayer."

Oddly, this one has a couple of Blueys:

The ProofrEADJer: End of November Edition

UAG