Comic Strip Where The Last Panel Is Always A Remote Oil Rig

Dog Park Missed Connections

The following Missed Connections were posted by dogs that visited the Bucks County Core Creek Dog Park in Langhorne, PA:

You: the light colored Border Terrier 

Me: the mixed Boxer with the WWE harness

Wassup. You had the zoomies so we didn't get to talk, but you seemed pretty cool and maybe would be down for smoking weed with me sometime?

You: the aggressive Basset Hound 

Me: the Lhasa Apso  

You were extremely rude to everyone with your chew toy, not sharing it and generally being an ass. Who do you think you are? And who even brings their own toy to a dog park? Dick.

You: the Borzoi named Dixon

Me: the hung Beagle

You sniffed my penis. I smelled your butthole. Call me?

This Week in "Chicago Whatever"

NBC continues to triple down on their public servant drama shows. Here are storylines for the "Chicago" shows this week:

Chicago P.D.

Chancellor Hardwick discovers what looks like a sewer system treasure map. Karla reveals to Connor she knows about the affair. The hot dog eating contest changes venue from Portillos to Weiner's Circle.

Chicago Med

As Chief Surgeon, Sheila announces that latex gloves are mandatory in operating rooms. A prank rivalry on the 4th floor threatens the safety of the neonatal unit. EMT trainer Douglass discovers hentai.

Chicago Fire

Battalion Chief Onutsa gets addicted to Ozempic. Terry's wife gets promoted over him as Fire Inspector. The Moon Patrol arcade machine in the station breaks.

Spotted in Traffic

I liked the plumber better than the movie, to be honest.

Let's Say Goodbye To All The Things Marketers Want Us To Say Goodbye To!

Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye!

EADJ Burning Questions

 I found this ad on Facebook:

So many questions.

• Who the hell Botoxes their asshole? Porn stars? Jeff Bezos?

• If porn stars do it, is it a tax deductible work expense?

• WHY Botox your asshole?

• Is it to remove hemorrhoids?

• Will the natural ridges of your asshole be smoothed out?

• Jesus Christ, do they give a local anaesthetic before they apply the syringe?

• Why is there a white smear behind the donut?

• Is this covered by insurance?

• Is this an outpatient procedure, and are patients allowed to drive home by themselves afterward?

• Why is this in a strip mall next to a check cashing place?

• Do you get to keep your old asshole as a souvenir?

The Ineffectual King in the Royal Match Mobile Game

If you've ever been on YouTube or Facebook lately, you've likely seen ads for Royal Match! A casual puzzle game that features a cartoon king in constant need of rescue.

He's always in danger of drowning or being buried alive or getting sliced by swinging saw blades. My first thought is, He's a king. Where is his security detail? How are they allowing him to always get into these situations? Is this a sexual kink of his?

I mean, it's a twist on the damsel in distress trope, I guess. But it does annoy me to see the supposed monarch of a sovereign nation groveling and begging like a pathetic coward. Have some self respect, your highness!