Gearing Up For 25 Days of Hallmark Movies

Long underwear, check.

Peppermint tea, check.

Now time to download the Hallmark Countdown To Christmas app to really get this 24 day shitshow on the road:

New EADJ Segment: Creators Explain

As a public service, EADJ would like to share our spotlight with those who don't have quite the massive audience we do. All summer, we will be featuring the creator of a beach toy and ask them to explain it and the inspiration behind it.

This week: Hurley Turwell, the inventor of Spyderball.

HT: Spyderball, man. It's like volleyball meets handball meets "Top Gun", man! Instead of a volleyball net, you got this crazy beach trampoline, and you gotta bounce it off the trampoline to score over the other team. The ball is smaller than a kickball, so you can grip it and really whale on the other team, man!

EADJ: Why do you call it Spyderball?

HT: Because the trampoline is sort of like a web, and you gotta really keep your eye on the ball, so you gotta SPY it, get it? 

EADJ: Are you on drugs right now?

HT: No way, man! I'm natural! You wanna play a few rounds of Spyderball?

EADJ: No, we're good.

"Secret Agent Club" Starring Hulk Hogan Finds Its Place In Cinematic History

No wrestling analogies. No out-of-context wacky names for wrestling moves or holds. Nothing but 100% EADJ Crappinuum.

"Secret Agent Club" was placed firmly (that's not a wrestling reference!) between "Vipers" (that was a real movie we reviewed, not the name of a professional wrestler) and "The Casino Job" (not a type of chokehold or finishing move). It did indeed have some entertainment value but lazily stuck to a pre-conceived formula of how a father and his son connect after the son helps his secret agent father overcome some obstacle and they have a better understanding of each other, etc etc etc zzzzzzz.

"The Casino Job" had tits. So it trumps Hogan's pecs (which were NOT shown in this movie). That is a well known but unwritten EADJ Crappinema rule: tits win.

Click to enlarge